Hello people,
I’ve noticed that lots of London Bloggers write about food.
More specifically, they write about food sold in nice restaurants. There are
two reasons why someone would write a food blog:
1. food is their passion, and they want to help promote
quality restaurants that might otherwise be overlooked; and
2. to blag free food.
I too have a passion for food - I eat it every day. I’ve probably eaten
around 5,000 tuna and mayonnaise sandwiches in my lifetime. Basically, I think I
have a lot to offer. Also I want free food, so I’ve decided to get in on the
act.
All the best food bloggers blog anonymously so they can be
really shitty about a meal they didn’t like and still face no come backs. I want to
be a good food blogger, but also I want restaurateurs to know that I’m a food
blogger (that way they will give me free stuff), so I write nice things about
them. For that reason, I disguised myself as a deep-sea diver. This was a
master stroke. Dressing as a deep-sea diver not only protects your anonymity, but it also makes everyone notice you. When you walk into a restaurant dressed
as a deep-sea diver, people see you and think, ‘Why is that man dressed as a
deep-sea diver? I wonder if it’s because he writes a secrete food blog?’ Genus.
I headed to Forest Hill for my first attempt at food blogging, because I'd heard there was a nice chicken shop next to the train station. I very slowly walked out of Forest Hill Station, using all my effort to drag myself to Favourite Fried Chicken store, when a sign caught my eye. It read, ‘Horniman Museum up the hill.’ I
wiped the steam from my goggles to make sure I’d read it correctly, but I
wasn’t mistaken. I thought to myself, ‘A Horniman Museum? The dirty beggars! The
people of Forest Hill should be ashamed of themselves! Still, I’d best check it
out.’ So I did.
The museum is 10 minutes walk from the station. Two and a half hours when walking in
a deep-sea divers suit. It has a beautiful clock tower, and surrounding
the building is a huge garden filled with exotic plants from all around the
world, and local wildlife. But what caught my eye most was the Totem Pole by
the main entrance. I’m no expert, but I could see the pole was about thirty
years old, and made from red cedar wood, so I assumed it was made in America. I
also noticed that on the pole were carvings of a girl, and a bear. There’s a
famous Alaskan legend of a girl who married a bear, so that narrows it down a
bit. Finally I saw the carving of a Thunderbird at the top of the pole; which –
if my memory serves me correctly - is the family symbol of the famous Alaskan
artist Nathen Jackson. So he probably carved it in 1985, as part of the
American Arts Festival going on at the time. But like I say, I’m no expert.
As I stood admiring his work, a lady in a white coat carrying
a large black sports bag walked past me. She looked me up and down and said, “Why are you wearing a deep-sea diver’s outfit? Are you a
food blogger?”
“Yes” I replied, and then I asked, “Do you know what this
place is?”
“I should hope so” she said “I work here. This is the
Horniman Museum, founded in 1901 by Frederick Horniman. The museum has a large
collection of stuffed animals, musical instruments, an aquarium, plus many
other objects of anthropological interest from around the world, including a
torture chair, and some Benin Plaques from Nigeria.”
“Did you say stuffed animals?”
“That’s right, we have stuffed monkeys, birds, rodents and
even a walrus. I’ve got a dead albino badger from Bromley in my sports bag
right now.”
“There are albino badgers in Bromley? I asked
“Yes, lots of them,” she said. And then, looking at her bag,
continued, “Well… not so many now.”
And with that I abandoned my plans to be a food blogger. I
could never give up this blog, I love finding out all the crazy things out
about South East London too much.
The Horniman Museum is well worth a visit. In
fact you could visit it every day for a year and still not get bored, there’s
something different and exciting around every corner. So I recommend you go see for yourself. Deep-sea divers outfit, not necessary.
Imagies from
Wolves in London - http://wolvesinlondon.com/2014/08/21/trips-to-the-horniman-museum/
http://www.horniman.ac.uk/
Wikipdia
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