SE3 Jack Cade's rebellion

Hello people,

Using my magic adjustable spanner, to 1450 I'll take you back,

And the story of two men, one named Henry, and the other called Jack.

Henry was born a King, the sixth Henry to take the throne,

While Jack was born a peasant, little much else of his young life is known.

Henry was not a popular King, many said he was not fit,

That his advisers were cruel and corrupt, and his military skills were... rubbish.

The one hundred year war with France, was dragging on and on,

England’s coastline was being invaded, and all their territories gone.

The tax King Henry demanded just grew and grew,

The peasants lives became worse, and they knew not what to do.

In the towns of Kent the poor suffered, and feared the French would invade,

Out of this sorrow emerged a leader, the rebel they called Jack Cade.

He said, “What we need is a monarch, one that isn’t quite as crap,

Who’ll treat the poor more fairly, and give those French a slap."
He convinced the poor of Kent to make him leader, and this promise to them he made,

"I’ll get the King to step aside, or else my name isn't Jack Cade."

“We’ll get a better King, one that’s just and true,

Who’ll sack all Henry’s advisors, maybe cut their heads off too!”
The poor finally had a leader, much to their relief,

So Jack, the new head honcho, organised a Beano to Blackheath.

The poor of Kent in their thousands, went to Blackheath, SE3,

To hear their new leader speak, and eat pastries from Gail’s bakery.
Jack told the gathering masses, King Henry deserved the sack -

he’d told him as much in a letter, and they should chill until he wrote back.

When King Henry received Jack's letter, with rage he became incited,

He was also a little bit hurt, at not having been invited
He'd loved to have gone to Blackheath, and maybe fly a kite,

Then head off to O’Neils, and down Jegga Bombs all night.

The King addressed his soldiers, and said ‘I'm really quite cross,

Put down the Blackheath uprising, that’ll show those rebels whose boss.”
King Henry’s soldiers charged, and the rebels turned and ran,

They chased them all to Sevenoaks, when things didn’t quite go to plan.

For in that dense oaked forest, where the rebels did retreat,

They surprised the King's men with an ambush, and so they suffered defeat.
Jack cried out, “All you poor of Kent, hear what I have to say,

March with me to fight in London. We’ll get ice cream along the way!”

Henry heard of the rebels' victory, and that they marched five thousand strong,

He pondered all his choices, but decided to not stick around for long.
Henry retreated to the country, and hid under his bed,

“Let me know when it’s finally over” was all that monarch said.

Henry well and truly looked beaten, it seemed he hadn’t a prayer,

When Jack marched his men into London, and declared himself Lord Mayor.
The sight of so many rebels, filled the people of London with fear,

But Jack set their minds at ease and said, “You'll hardly notice we’re here.”

London officials supported the cause, but to Jack Cade they did warn,

"Be sure to control your men, and retain order as you have sworn."
Jack now held the heart of London, and the wrongs of the day he could mend,

Sadly my dear reader, that is not the how this story does end.

Jack had the Kings allies trialed, killed, their heads were put on spikes,

They were paraded through the London streets, much to the rebels delight.
Then the rebels took to looting, drinking, causing trouble and fights,

And hanging traitors' heads from London Bridge, as if they were fairy lights.

London officials sighed, “King Henry, your leadership we do miss,

The rebels keep looting and wreaking the place, and they’re constantly on the piss."
The people of London agreed, the time had come to stand up and fight,

They got themselves ready to mount an attack while the rebels were drinking that night.

Staggering back to the city from Southwark, oh how those rebels did sway,

Led by they’re leader Jack, none envisaged the trouble on its way.
When they reached London Bridge they're path was blocked, the locals had formed a barricade,

Jack saw what was before him, and realised he had been betrayed.

Jack cried “You have wronged me my brothers, step aside at once and repent!”

The Londoners replied “We’ve had enough of you lot, now sod off back to Kent.”

The rebel leader placed his hand on his musket, and then produced his blade,

He yelled “We’ll cut through your lines like butter, or my name is not Jack Cade!”

The two sides clashed together, they fought with all their might, 

They fought through hell and fury, they fought throughout the night.

When the battle was over, and morning sun shone over London Town,

The rebels were defeated, the Londoners had held their ground.

It was at this time King Henry slowly emerged from beneath his bed,

“Is it safe for one to come out yet?” Is all the monarch said.

On hearing of the rebels' loss, Henry seemed a different man,

He issued pardons to all the rebels, said he’d help them if he can.

But once the rebels dispersed, he rescinded promises made,

He said arrest all the traitors, and bring me the head of Jack Cade.

Jack was captured and killed, his body dragged through London Town,

His limbs were sent to the cities of Kent, a warning to others who'd stand against the crown.

Henry had won the day, but his victory brought only grief,

Rebellion followed rebellion, inspired by the march from Blackheath.

Rebellion became war, led by a rival to the throne, 
Inspired by Jack's letter to the  King, the War of the Roses it's now known.

Henry fought for many years, his knee he refused to bend,

But no one can fight forever, and Henry met his end.

Next time you're in Blackheath, remember the five thousand who met there,

Who marched together to London, demanding to be treated fair.

The moral of this tale, is to honour promises you’ve made,

Or you’ll meet an end that’s wretched, like King Henry and the rebel Jack Cade.