Hello people,
Today I’ve come to Bermondsey SE1 to flex my muscles and
have a go at bouldering at The Arch Climbing Wall. Bouldering is a bit like
rock climbing except that its indoors, the climbing wall is man-made, and you
get thrown out if you stick a flag in the top and claim it for yourself.
On arrival I was surprised by how low the climbing walls
were, I’d expected to see a huge cliff face similar to the one Tom Cruise
climbs at the beginning of Mission impossible II, but these were about 20 feet high.
The staff informed me that the skill of bouldering is not
about how high you get off the ground, but the complexity of the climb. They
said that the climbs were coloured, ranging from green and white (the simplest)
to red (the most difficult). On hearing this I turned to the two sherpas I'd
hired for the day and told them that their services wouldn't be needed, settled
the bill, and waved them goodbye as they headed towards Bermondsey station on
their husky driven slay.
After my induction I had a go at one of the green and white
climbs. On completing it, I decided to skip the rest of the colours and head
straight for the red - how hard could it be? I started off fairly well, but
quickly came to a bit that was, in my opinion, absolutely impossible to climb
without having suckers on your fingers. So I decided to mix the colours up a
bit, and reached out for a nearby blue bolder. That worked for a while, until I
got stuck again, so I moved onto orange, then back to blue, then zebra stripes,
sumptuous plum, peppermint beach, intense chestnut, blush, and that's when I
became completely stuck with no idea how to get down.
I hung onto the side of the wall for a moment and tried to
figure out what to do, and that’s when a familiar voice broke my concentration.
"Ahoy there shipmate."
To my surprise next to me on the wall was captain of the HMS
Belfast, Mr A. Sailor, who I'd met on a visit to Greenwich, where I accused him
of setting fire to the Cutty Sark in 2007 out of boat envy. Things got a little
heated between us at the time, but we parted on good terms.
"Hello Mr Sailor."
"Call me Ahab."
"Hello Ahab, this is a surprise, I didn't know you
liked to climb?"
Indeed it was a surprise, not only was Ahab successfully
negotiating the red route, but he was doing so with a peg leg, hook hand, eye
patch, and a parrot balanced on his shoulder. He let out a hearty seaman’s
chuckle, and using his hook hand to support himself, removed the E-Pipe from
his pocket, put it in his mouth and said,
"Aye laddie, been scaling the mast for as long as I
could whistle. I see you tried mixing the colours?"
I felt myself blush.
"Yea, I'm stuck. Do you know if there's a way down?
Without falling I mean?”
"Aargh, there's always a route back to shore, 'tis just
a matter of knowing which stars to follow. How's the blog? Any luck catching
the scurvy dog that burnt down the Cutty Sark?"
I told him about all my adventures through the 28 districts.
The threats I'd received in Abbey Wood warning me off my investigations, and the
lady on the bike who assaulted me in Shooters Hill, who I've recently taken to
following while being disguised as a post box to see if she leads me to any
more clues.
"And has she?”
Again I felt my face
redden.
“No. She just goes to the gym and visits friends in
independent cafes.”
He gently nodded his head, sucked on his E-Pipe and let the
smoke drift out of his nose. After that the conversation dried up. I asked him
if he’d been following the football, he said the only sport he followed was
sailing. I asked if he’d seen the new Star Wars film, “Space ships aren’t real
ships,” was all he said.
Just as I was contemplating letting go of the wall and
plummeting to the floor to get out of this socially awkward situation, Ahab
leaned towards me and said, "Did you know that the Bourbon biscuit was invented in
this building? Maybe even in the exact spot we’re in right now?”
Sensing a juicy scoop for my blog I asked him to elaborate.
I then tightened my grip with my left hand, shifted my weight a little, took my
right hand off the wall and pulled a pen from my pocket, which I put into my
mouth. I then took my 28 Districts note pad out of the same pocket, held it
against the wall, and using my mouth started to write. This is what he told
me...
“This building was part of the Peak Freans Biscuit Factory,
which was in business from 1857 to 1989. At it's peak it employed four thousand land
lubbers; most of whom would have been natives of Bermondsey. Generations of
families worked here side by side. Back then the sweet scent of biscuits used
to hang in the Bermondsey air, as tantalising as a pretty mermaids fishy
perfume. In fact Bermondsey became so synonymous with the old Biscuit Factory,
that it came to be known as Biscuit Town."
"That's amazing," I mumbled, trying not to drop the
pen between my teeth.
"Aye, 'tis, and it wasn't just Bourbons. The
Chocolate Biscuit, the Twiglet, the Garibaldi; all were invented here.'Twas
more successful than a whale hunter with a semi-automatic harpoon. Here let me
turn that page for ye."
"Thanks, how did a biscuit factory in Bermondsey come
to be so successful?"
"’Twas a mixture of genius biscuit making and good fortune.
Their big break came in 1870 during the Franco Prussian war, when Napoleon III –
the Emperor of France - placed a massive order of 470 tonnes of biscuits at
Peek Freans for all his fighting men. ‘Twas his opinion that the gift of
biscuits would make them love their Emperor all the more, and therefore fight
braver, and be victorious!"
"Did it work?"
"They liked the biscuits aye, but they were defeated in
just under a year. With hindsight, he probably should have spent the money on
guns instead."
“An honest mistake. So what happened to the biscuit factory?”
“'Twas bought by a big American company and moved over seas.”
“That’s really sad.”
“'Tis sadder then a manically depressed monkfish. But that’s why
it’s so important to bake your own biscuits laddie; to keep the tradition
alive. All SE Londoners should know how to bake a Bourbon biscuit backwards.”
“You’re so wise Ahab. Tell me, what should I do now?”
“Follow your heart laddie, keep the faith, and you’ll find
the truth behind the Cutty Sark fire.”
“Thanks, but I meant what should I do about getting down
from this wall?”
“Oh, you just need to let go.”
“Of my inhibitions? You think the only thing stopping me
from getting to the top is fear itself?”
“No, I mean just let go of the wall. You’re only 3 feet off
of the floor.”
I looked down, and he was right. Before leaving I thanked
him, and we agreed to message each other on Facebook or Twitter. I’d had a
great day at the old biscuit factory and will definitely be coming back. As for
the Cutty Sark investigation, something will probably turn up. But the most
important thing I’d learned from my journey today is that Bermondsey is Biscuit
Town, and if we want it to stay that way, then it’s up to us SE Londoners to
get baking. I’ve attached a great recipe for Bourbon biscuits so you can all
have a go, and once you’re done I’d love to see a photo of them. You can send
them to me on
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/28-Districts-807229395965743/?fref=ts,
Twitter @28districts,
or upload them to this blog. So get baking!
 |
| How to find the Old Biscuit Factory |
Ingredients
Biscuit
50g softened butter
50g caster sugar
1 tbsp golden syrup
110g plain flour, plus extra for dusting
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
15g cocoa powder
Filling
50g softened butter
100g icing sugar, sifted
2 tsp cocoa powder
Few drops of hot water
Method
Preheat the oven to 190°C and line 2 baking trays with
baking paper.
Cream the butter and sugar together in a large bowl until it
is pale and fluffy, then beat in the golden syrup. Sift in the flour, bicarbonate
of soda and cocoa, and mix until you have a stiff dough.
Knead the dough well, then roll the dough out on a floured
surface to a depth of 4mm. Cut the dough
into long strips about 2.5 cm wide, then cut these strips into 5 cm lengths. Transfer
them to your lined baking trays and prod them several times with a fork. Bake for
about 15 minutes until darkened slightly and smelling all chocolatey. Be careful
not to scorch the edges.
Transfer the biscuits to a wire rack to cool while you make
the filling. Cream the butter, icing sugar and cocoa together in a large bowl,
adding a few drops of hot water if you need to, until you have a good,
spreadable consistency.
When the biscuits are cold, sandwich two biscuits together
and leave for at least an hour before eating so that the filling can firm up.
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