SE18 Fairly Tall Ships

Hello People

A few weeks ago I headed to the Woolwich Arsenal to see the Tall Ships festival, a celebration of the largest fleet of tall ships to visit the Thames in 25 years, it sounded amazing and I couldn't wait to see it. However I was a little concerned that having so many tall ships in one small area of the Thames would cause the waters to rise, and the Woolwich Arsenal would be flooded, creating panic, devastation, and totally ruining my new boat shoes. So I popped into the Thames Barrier Museum, a little way down the road before hand, just to put my mind at ease. Once there, for the reasonable price of £3.50, I was able to learn all about how the Thames Barrier works. At the end of the tour there was a noticeboard stating that the Barrier will be able to protect London from flooding till 2070, when Global Warming will have raised the sea levels by 12mm, and attacks from alien battleships will be a daily occurrence. I took out my note pad and pencil to perform a few calculations; just to put my mind at ease that Charles Draper, the Engineer who devised the design of the Thames Barrier, had done his sums properly. Once satisfied I continued on towards Royal Woolwich Arsenal and the tall ships.

Along the way I walked through Woolwich Dockyard, an area less wealthy then the Woolwich Arsenal, but no less rich in history. For example, everybody knows that King Henry the VIII had six wives, he killed the first two, divorced the third, snogged the fourth, married the fifth, and avoided the last one, and that’s where we get the game from. But less people know that it was Henry who founded the Woolwich Dockyard in 1512. After pissing off France, Spain, Italy and the Pope by inventing his own religion, Henry became concerned that it all might kick off, so he thought it wise to build a dockyard close to the Tower of London where all his ships could be quickly equipped with cannons and artillery should the need arise. The dockyard is the second oldest in Britain (Plymouth being the oldest).

Woolwich Dockyard by George Milton

There are no ships being built in the Woolwich Dockyard anymore, but there is the beautiful Grade II listed Woolwich Clockhouse built between 1870-1879 to accommodate the Admiralty Superintendents offices, nowadays the Clockhouse is a community centre.

Woolwich Clockhouse

As I continued towards the Thames Path I came upon what appeared to be an episode of Holby City, a man was lying unconscious on the steps to the Thames, a woman was standing next to him, and about ten to fifteen children were circling them on their bikes. I found out from the woman, whose name was Haley by the way, that she had already called an ambulance, and was waiting with him till it came. We stared at the poor guy for a while, his chest was moving up and down so he was clearly breathing ok.

Me “We should put him in the recovery position.”

Haley “Good idea”

Me “Do you know it”

Haley “No, I’m afraid I don’t”

Me “Neither do I”

Haley “Probably best we leave it then”

I liked Haley, she was clearly good people, as were the kids, they were just as keen to help out in their own way, they tried to wake the unconscious man, let’s call him Trevor, by occasionally shouting things at him, like “Wake up! You’re sleeping on the steps bruv!” or “Are you dead mate?” One boy tried to stir Trevor into consciousness by playing Justin Beiber to him from his phone, as I sat on those steps having to listen to Justin Bieber, I must admit a became a little envious of Trevor. One girl told Haley and me that she wanted to be a nurse when she was older; when the Paramedic arrived she asked him a thousand and one questions, “What does that do?” What are you testing for?” My favourite though was

Girl “Are you going to put a plaster on him”

Paramedic “No because I can’t see any bleeding”

Girl “He may be bleeding internally”

No one is born with knowledge, it’s acquired through passion and being lucky enough to have a good teacher. I have no doubt, if that young girl gets a good teacher; she will go on to do great things. The Paramedic took great care of Trevor, and answered all of our questions with good humour. He assured us that Trevor would be ok, and with that we took our leave. I said good bye to my new friends, and moved on feeling lucky to have been able to get to know them.

When I finally arrived at the Woolwich Arsenal fun was to be had everywhere, people sat outside the Dial Arch pub enjoying a drink in the sunshine, the Dial Arch is my favourite pub, and I could tell you some great facts about it, as I could the rest of the Royal Arsenal, but that will have to be another story for another time. Because as I walked through the Arsenal with its beautiful and expensive flats, and as I passed through the revellers and the performers and the musicians, and as I looked out at those magnificent tall ships on the Thames, all I could think about was the people I had met in the Woolwich Dockyard. Haley, the Paramedic, the girl with dreams of becoming a nurse, the boy with Justin Bieber on his phone. And that’s why today’s story is not about Grand ships, but about quiet heroes. And the quiet hero I have chosen this week is… the Woolwich Ferry.

Tall Ships

The Woolwich Ferry carries one million vehicles and two and a half million passengers a year, it was officially opened in 1889 but a ferry service has operated across the river at Woolwich since at least the 14^th century. There are three ferries in the fleet, each named after prominent local politicians who did much to improve the conditions of the working class, John Burns, James Newman, and Ernest Bevin, and it’s free. There may be nothing grand about the Woolwich Ferry, but we’d miss it if it went.

Quite Tall Ship - The Woolwich Ferry 

I’m writing this blog sitting on the lower deck of the Woolwich Ferry, eating a tuna and mayonnaise sandwich I bought from the Thames Barrier Café, wearing a sailor’s hat I made at home, and gently humming Land of hope and Glory to myself. I do not feel any shame in saying that adrenaline surges through my body as this mighty vessel cuts through the water, making the long 0.4km journey from Woolwich South to Woolwich North. This must be how Shakleton felt as he sailed the Endurance towards the Artic, the only difference being that I’ll be home in time for dinner, and I might get a few episode of the walking dead in before bed.

God Bless Woolwich Dockyard and God bless the Woolwich Ferry, and all who sail in her. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to book some First Aid lessons.